Dialectic Behavior Therapy

For the last year or so, I have been in Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT).  It's done wonders in giving me skills to deal with anxiety in all forms.  DBT offers four groups or modules in interrelated    skills.  First off, there is mindfulness which is being aware of everything around you and all aspects of a situation.  This is so important to solving problems and just getting along with others. Then there is interpersonal skills which are vital, seeing as we are social creatures and these skills will help you relate to others.  Interpersonal skills are broken down by which of three areas are pertinent to the current situation: goal-orientated, how others will view us and how we view ourselves.  Once we know which of these three are most important in a situation, that will determine which of the three skills corresponding to those three areas to use.  The next set of skills are emotional regulation which is understanding what emotion we're feeling,  why we're feeling it, and how best to communicate that emotion.   Finally there are distress tolerance skills which when things are at their worst (a temporary condition), how to tolerate and survive through this momentary crisis.  I've learned how to use all these skills and have handouts when I'm not sure plus worksheets with questions on them to answer if I ever have doubts.  These skills have pretty much saved my relationship with my beloved fiancee'.   I highly recommend them.  A good place to start in order to see what is involved is at this website: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/.  After you view this site, if you feel this can work for you, look for a DBT counselor in your area and also consider group therapy.   

Panic over finances and our decisions

Still having ups and downs but most of them are financial.  I can easily get panicky if I start thinking about the possibility of starving or losing our home but I'm guessing most people do.  In case though, these "what if" statements rarely ring true.  As it is, our cell phones have been disconnected due to nonpayment.  We hope to get them back on within a week or so.  Time will tell but don't think we'll lose anything else. Times are tough for everyone so worrying or panicking helps nothing and in most cases, makes things the worse. I'm embracing living in here and now and taking things one day at a time.  It's too hard to go beyond that.  


Due to the recent legal battles we've had plus recent prostate cancer surgery, we've decided it's best to push our wedding date back to May 27,2013 so we can enjoy the planning as well as the wedding day.  

Post-surgery

This year, on September 22,2011, I had my prostate removed.  There were cancerous cells in it and decided to have the operation to remove all traces of cancer.  Surgery took 8 hours and I was in recovery for 3 1/2 hours.  I chose DaVinci (robotic) surgery. I was home for about four weeks before returning to work.  I'm back at work and recovering nicely.  I face another 4-6 months of recovery though as I am temporarily impotent and slightly incontinent.   Post-surgery, the removed organs were thoroughly biopsied and found to have no cancer spreading elsewhere.  About two weeks ago, I had another PSA test and it was undetectable which is best case scenario. 

I'M GETTING MARRIED IN 2013

Well, my sweetheart and I are in the middle of planning our May 25, 2013 wedding.  We even have a website at http://www.maxandleannesummer2012.com.   I have come a long way.  Paruresis is no longer a part of my life.  I have been tapering my Xanax down and take .125mg four times a day. I still take antidepressants although I'm not convinced I need them.  Planning a wedding is so much fun!   I am also involved in something called dialectic behavior therapy which is a godsend for people with anxiety problems. It teaches you important lifestyle skills in four parts:  mindfulness, interpersonal skills, emotional regulation and distress tolerance.  I'm shaking off the trauma of my past and am slowly inviting the goodness of my present and future.  I have read books by Thich Nhat Hahn and they are wonderful.   I can't wait to marry my beloved!!!!