FIRE!!!

http://theworldofmaxkohn.wordpress.com/2012/01/08/fire/

This past Sunday, we had a fire in our apartment building five floors below us.  At one point, we thought we were going to die.  Then after we got out safely, we thought our cat, who were forced to leave behind, was dead.  While we all got out safely, unfortunately, one young woman in her 30s was,killed by smoke inhalation and carbon monoxide poisoning.  We live on the 17th floor of a 21 floor building.  We had to run down 17 flights of stairs. The exertion plus the fear caused me to start to panic but I had to shrug it off temporarily otherwise the hyperventilation would have caused me to inhale too much smoke.  We were shaky all week, jumping at every noise.  I was emotional, knowing how close we all got to death.  I took a week off of work to try to collect myself and help Leanne and I regain our center and our feelings of safety and security.  The apartment management has gone all out,  providing dinner for everyone all week plus free laundry and free dry cleaning.   The woman who died, did so on an elevator so that elevator was damaged.  She didn't know there was a fire and by the time she learned about it, she was dead.   I feel bad about her dying.  

I also felt bad that here I am facing death for the second time in less than 3 months  (third time in five years) and my family is nowhere to be found.  I guess they no longer care about me, if they ever did.   I guess it was all about what I could do for them and when I decided to stop giving them and go get myself a life with Leanne, they wrote me off.  I have to find a way to accept their decision and let them go in peace.   I'm not sure how that will look, feel, sound, etc but I'm working on that next.   The only family I now have is Leanne and our cat, Jacob. 

In my next blog, I'll discuss more about Dialectic Behavior Therapy. 

How DBT group works

For those of you considering joining a DBT group, I  thought I'd let you know how it works, generally.  First thing that happens is introductions including the instructor.  You learn a bit about each other since you'll be spending many weeks together learning and practicing these skills.  Then the overall rules of group is handed out.  Your attendance is important and being on time is imperative to avoid disrupting group sessions. The teacher gives you a phone number you can use to contact him or her in case of absence or lateness.  Doing the homework is essential to learning how to put these skills into use.  After the introductions and rules, you get to the first module - mindfulness.  I'll explore this module in detail in my next blog.  For the next three or four blogs, I'll explain the skills and a little of how I use them.  Back to group structure, the way it works after the first meeting is that you are taught the skills, you share with other group members how you could use them in your own life, then you get homework.  Subsequently,  when you return to group, you go over the homework and everyone shares if they choose how they used the skills.  The group offers suggestions on other ways you can use them and  after the homework, you learn other skills in the module.  The instructor tries to get everyone to share their ideas of how the skills can be used and also how everyone DID use them.   It's a real informal group settings with lessons, discussions and homework.  I'm rather shy but I loosened up after a couple of sessions. The instructor helped by asking me to share with the group which I did.   When I went, each group session lasted 90 minutes, give or take five minutes.