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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Trial and Error

I had turned in my letter from my doctor and was hoping to return to work today. Unfortunately mere hours before work, I had a full blown panic and paruretic attack. I eventually backed out. My dad tried to be supportive but my sister reamed me out. She has no clue what bashful bladder syndrome is. In a nutshell, when I get very anxious, my PC muscle tightens and it won't let urine pass through. My brother-in-law still thinks I need to go to the hospital and have x-rays and MRI of my brain. There's nothing wrong with my bladder or my brain except that the chemical imbalance in my brain causes me to panic which in turn causes the PC muscle to tighten up. My job seems to be a major trigger for me. Anyway, what I need to do is create a situation that is as close to what I'd be going through at work and work my way through the anxiety. Then I'll be ready to go back to work. I feel pretty disappointed that I wasn't able to return to work today. I hope to return soon.