In the heat of battle

This is what happened on 4/22 (keeping in mind that my sister and her crew live on the main floor of the house and I live in the basement): I don't know what bug crept up my brother-in-law's butt but he blew up tonight. He started yelling at damn near everyone and then it got physical with my sister and my niece. I ran up to try to tell him I called the cops, he lunged at me and my sister blocked him, both of them slamming the door on me nearly throwing me down the stairs, luckily I caught the banister. I called the police and this being Chicago, they're not here as per usual. He stormed out of here saying he was going to kill my niece's boyfriend (and her unborn baby's father). No, he wasn't on drugs or drunk. I just found out the cops were here and are now gone. They were told it was nothing more than a verbal altercation which was not true but ok, at least he is warned that I'm not above calling the cops. I have the flu and I do not need that kind of baloney in my house. I told them no fighting would be allowed and now they are warned I WILL call the police if I need to and next time I'll file a complaint and have him locked up. (Earlier tonight he told me, my wacky cousin is trying to get her mom committed so she will have full access to whatever is left of her mom's money. In an effort to stop this, my brother-in-law volunteered to go up to Wisconsin for a month [ THANK GOD!!! I WISH IT WERE TOMORROW HE WAS LEAVING] and he asked me to spy for him and let him know if my niece's boyfriend/fiancé/baby's father showed up here. I told him I'm not getting involved in that. Sorry, not my business. ) Now I took inventory of the emotions I'm feeling about this and here's what I've come up with: 1. Anger: I let him intimidate me and I refuse to let anyone do that to me again. My dad and brother did it for many years. 2. Grief: My niece was pregnant with twins. She miscarried one already and it may have had something to do with this altercation. That saddens me. 3. Fear/Anxiety: My brother-in-law won't talk to me since I told him I called the cops. When I'm anywhere near him, I'm afraid he'll attack me. An online friend thinks he's embarrassed for making a fool out of himself and that's why he stopped talking to me. 4. Guilt: I'm not sure whether calling the cops was the right call but they sounded like they (my sister and her husband) wanted to kill each other. My niece had a baseball bat. Also, I wonder if I should have told them I called the cops. The idea behind that was to let them know that I'm not above calling the authorities if I feel they are out of control and a danger to each other and to me. I still feel guilty because one or both of them could have been arrested. 5. Worry: I'm worried about the higher risk of a miscarriage of the remaining baby inside my niece, I'm worried because my brother in law has had chest pains and a headache since his rampage, I'm worried because my nephew injured his shoulder (not related to the war) and I'm worried because I'm not getting rid of the flu as fast as I feel I should be. 6. Frustration: I have insight into the situation. This is a repeat of my sister's history. My dad didn't like her now-husband but then-boyfriend, a war broke out, and my sister was tossed out of the house. Here it is nearly 20 years later and I can see history repeating itself. I know what they need to do to change that and to make things right but nobody will listen to me. I have the gift of insight (my regular psych confirmed this) but I can't figure out how to use it. What good is a gift you don't know how to use? And finally, I don't have someone to comfort me when I'm anxious. I'm tired of being my own cheerleader. It would be nice to have someone I can talk to and lean on when I'm weak and someone who can talk to me and lean on me when they are weak. So many emotions. When my brother-in-law (Edwin) is enraged, talking to him is out of the question. I feel bad for my niece that she lost one baby but again there's nothing I can do about it except be there for her as best I can. I don't know if I can get past my fear of Edwin's rage. I've tried to keep my distance for the past 24 hours. He won't even talk to me....an online friend says he's embarrassed. Possible. Everything I'm worried about, are things I cannot control. The best I can do is pray. As for what frustrates me, the gift of insight must have been given to me for a reason. I just have to figure out what it is or wait until the reason is revealed to me.