Latest update - August 2013

It is now almost a year and a half off Xanax.   I'm doing well.  Apparently my paruresis had a physical element to it -- a narrow bladder neck.   I'm still off Xanax and still on Cymbalta and Zyprexa.   I can see the Zyprexa as it's a mood stabilizer and my mood has been anything but stabilized.   I recently asked my psychiatrist for a medication review and he refused saying I needed to be on EXACTLY what I'm on now with no changes.  That doesn't rub me right so when I saw my primary care doctor and told him what happened,  we agreed he'd help me find a new psychiatrist.   After a couple false starts, I believe we have found him.   In addition to Cymbalta and Zyprexa i'm also on a blood pressure medication, Provigil to keep me awake when I'm at work, and i take a very low dose of Klonopin before I go to bed as I also have sleep apnea.  I'm not getting younger so I have learned I have to take good care of myself so I can be of use to my girl. :)    

1 year off Xanax

I've been off Xanax one year as of tomorrow.  I rarely take .125 xanax when under intense anxiety situations like seeing the dentist.  I'm still shocked that I got off so easily but I really let my body set the schedule.  When my body and mind felt ready, I decreased but not until.  You have to be really self-aware to use this method to come off of Xanax.  Recently I was diagnosed with a moderate form of sleep apnea and the doctor told me he was considering putting me on Klonopin but after being on Xanax for over thirty years and taking just under two years to wean off,  I was reluctant to go back on a benzo.  I'm grateful that instead of Klonopin, the doctor put me on Melatonin which I think will work better for me.   Being off Xanax and not having withdrawal symptoms to deal with has been wonderful.  I have occasional bouts of anxiety but I  use mental tools (CBT or DBT) to get past them.   I'm learning to be a good friend to myself.   I'm still on Cymbalta and Zyprexa but neither of them is as addictive as benzos.  

Sleep disorders

Being with +Leanne Edwards  has been wonderful for my anxiety disorders.  Been flashing back on my panic attacks from the past. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago.  I'm grateful to God I no longer have them.  I keep getting better and better.  Next on my health to-do list is dealing with my sleep disorders.  I've been diagnosed with sleep apnea (moderate form) and parasomnias.  A few weeks ago I went for a sleep study to get this diagnosis.  In a few weeks (night of March 31st to morning of April 1) I go for a CPAP titration test where I will sleep, wired up to a machine for monitoring purposes AND wearing a mask that has preset oxygen levels pumped through that will be increased incrementally.  I hope to solve my sleep problems in a very short time but will try to avoid using benzos to treat the sleep apnea.  I"m nervous about having oxygen forced into my lungs like this because I tried it during the sleep study and it was scary.  I'm going to google more about the CPAP titration test and see if I can find a way to relax during this test.  Suggestions from those reading this will be appreciated.